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Bigamy is having one husband or wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
Wilde, Oscar

The dread of loneliness is greater than the fear of bondage, so we get married.
Connolly, Cyril

Romantic love is an illusion. Most of us discover this truth at the end of a love affair or else when the sweet emotions of love lead us into marriage and then turn down their flames.
More, Sir Thomas

Like good wine, marriage gets better with age - once you learn to keep a cork in it.
Perret, Gene

A woman who loves her husband is merely paying her bills. A woman who loves her lover gives alms to the poor.
Toulet, Paul-Jean

The three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
Unknown, Author

Marriage is not a word - it is a sentence.
Unknown, Author

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
Allen, Woody

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
McLaughlin, Mignon

The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
de Balzac, Honore

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
Unknown, Author

In a time when nothing is more certain than change, the commitment of two people to one another has become difficult and rare. Yet, by its scarcity, the beauty and value of this exchange have only been enhanced.
Sexton, Robert

I know this is painful for the ladies to hear, but if you get married, you have accepted the headship of a man, your husband. Christ is the head of the household and the husband is the head of the wife, and that's the way it is, period.
Robertson, Pat

An object in possession seldom retains the same charm that it had in pursuit.
Pliny the Younger

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.
Cosby, Bill

It is not marriage that fails; it is people that fail. All that marriage does is to show people up.
Fosdick, Harry Emerson

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.
Corelli, Marie

A fellow ought to save a few of the long evenings he spends with his girl till after they're married.
Hubbard, Frank McKinney

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.
Hendrickson, Evelyn

Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness.
Rieux, Virginie des

When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.
Shaw, George Bernard

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Allen, Woody

We have the greatest pre-nuptial agreement in the world. It's called love.
Perret, Gene

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Prochnow, H.V.

Love requires a willingness to die; marriage, a willingness to live.
McLaughlin, Mignon

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage."
Spencer, Herbert

To avoid mistakes and regrets, always consult your wife before engaging in a flirtation.
Howe, E.W.

But married once, a man is stak'd or pown'd, and cannot graze beyond his own hedge.
Massinger, Philip

Men should keep their eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.
Scudery, Madeleine de

Any married man should forget his mistakes... no use two people remembering the same thing.
Dewel, Duane

There is no substitute for the comfort supplied by the utterly taken-for granted relationship.
Murdoch, Iris

Marriage is good for those who are afraid to sleep alone at night.
Jerome, St.

The chief reason why marriage is rarely a success is that it is contracted while the partners are insane.
Collins, Joseph

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.
Grant, Lee

Never get married in the morning, because you never know who you'll meet that night.
Hornung, Paul

The view that a peptic ulcer may be the hole in a man's stomach through which he crawls to escape from his wife has fairly wide acceptance.
Anderson, John Allan Dalrymple

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
Frost, Robert

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
Adams, Joey

Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do, and I gave the common-sensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.
Steinem, Gloria

The reason they're called the opposite sex is because every time you think you have your wife fooled, it's just the opposite!
Winchell, Walter

A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.
Maugham, W. Somerset

Women seem to be all right on bargains till it comes to picking out a husband.
Hubbard, Frank McKinney

There may be good, but there are no pleasant marriages.
Rilke, Rainer Maria

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Guitry, Sacha

If your husband and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie?
Unknown, Author

Our marriage has always been a 50-50 proposition - with the possible exception of closet space.
Perret, Gene

Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.
Unknown, Author

Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage.
Harris, Sydney J.

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.
Anderson, Robert

Wives are young men's mistresses; companions for middle age; and old men's nurses.
Bacon, Francis

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all.
Byron, George Gordon

So heavy is the chain of wedlock that it needs two to carry it, and sometimes three.
Dumas, Alexandre

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.
Grizzard, Lewis

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers.
Hansen, Grace

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.
Manville, Tommy

Pity all newlyweds. She cooks something nice for him, and he brings her flowers, and they kiss and think: How easy marriage is.
McLaughlin, Mignon

Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.
Mencken, H.L.

Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole.
Mortimer, John

Marriage is a meal where the soup is better than the dessert.
O'Malley, Austin

The highest happiness on earth is marriage.
Phelps, William Lyon

They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake.
Pope, Alexander

The most dangerous food is wedding cake.
Proverb, American

My wife tells me she doesn't care what I do when I'm away, as long as I'm not enjoying it.
Trevino, Lee

I don't believe in marriage unless one has some need for a tax break or social security. I would marry to simplify some red tape.
Near, Holly

A good marriage is that in which each appoints the other guardian of his solitude.
Rilke, Rainer Maria

More belongs to marriage than four legs in a bed.
Rilke, Rainer Maria

Marriage is the death of hope.
Allen, Woody