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Bigamy is having one husband or wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
Wilde, Oscar

Like good wine, marriage gets better with age - once you learn to keep a cork in it.
Perret, Gene

A woman who loves her husband is merely paying her bills. A woman who loves her lover gives alms to the poor.
Toulet, Paul-Jean

The three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
Unknown, Author

Marriage is not a word - it is a sentence.
Unknown, Author

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
Allen, Woody

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
McLaughlin, Mignon

The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
de Balzac, Honore

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
Unknown, Author

In a time when nothing is more certain than change, the commitment of two people to one another has become difficult and rare. Yet, by its scarcity, the beauty and value of this exchange have only been enhanced.
Sexton, Robert

An object in possession seldom retains the same charm that it had in pursuit.
Pliny the Younger

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.
Cosby, Bill

It is not marriage that fails; it is people that fail. All that marriage does is to show people up.
Fosdick, Harry Emerson

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.
Corelli, Marie

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.
Hendrickson, Evelyn

Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness.
Rieux, Virginie des

When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.
Shaw, George Bernard

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Allen, Woody

We have the greatest pre-nuptial agreement in the world. It's called love.
Perret, Gene

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Prochnow, H.V.

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage."
Spencer, Herbert

To avoid mistakes and regrets, always consult your wife before engaging in a flirtation.
Howe, E.W.

But married once, a man is stak'd or pown'd, and cannot graze beyond his own hedge.
Massinger, Philip

Men should keep their eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.
Scudery, Madeleine de

Any married man should forget his mistakes... no use two people remembering the same thing.
Dewel, Duane

The chief reason why marriage is rarely a success is that it is contracted while the partners are insane.
Collins, Joseph

The view that a peptic ulcer may be the hole in a man's stomach through which he crawls to escape from his wife has fairly wide acceptance.
Anderson, John Allan Dalrymple

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
Adams, Joey

Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do, and I gave the common-sensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.
Steinem, Gloria

The reason they're called the opposite sex is because every time you think you have your wife fooled, it's just the opposite!
Winchell, Walter

A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.
Maugham, W. Somerset

There may be good, but there are no pleasant marriages.
Rilke, Rainer Maria

Our marriage has always been a 50-50 proposition - with the possible exception of closet space.
Perret, Gene

Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.
Unknown, Author

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.
Anderson, Robert

Wives are young men's mistresses; companions for middle age; and old men's nurses.
Bacon, Francis

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all.
Byron, George Gordon

So heavy is the chain of wedlock that it needs two to carry it, and sometimes three.
Dumas, Alexandre

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers.
Hansen, Grace

Pity all newlyweds. She cooks something nice for him, and he brings her flowers, and they kiss and think: How easy marriage is.
McLaughlin, Mignon

Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.
Mencken, H.L.

Marriage is a meal where the soup is better than the dessert.
O'Malley, Austin

They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake.
Pope, Alexander

The most dangerous food is wedding cake.
Proverb, American

My wife tells me she doesn't care what I do when I'm away, as long as I'm not enjoying it.
Trevino, Lee

I don't believe in marriage unless one has some need for a tax break or social security. I would marry to simplify some red tape.
Near, Holly

A good marriage is that in which each appoints the other guardian of his solitude.
Rilke, Rainer Maria

More belongs to marriage than four legs in a bed.
Rilke, Rainer Maria

Marriage is the death of hope.
Allen, Woody