Quotes on marriage
Bigamy is having one husband or wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
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Oscar Wilde Quotes
The dread of loneliness is greater than the fear of bondage, so we get married.
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Cyril Connolly Quotes
Romantic love is an illusion. Most of us discover this truth at the end of a love affair or else when the sweet emotions of love lead us into marriage and then turn down their flames.
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Sir Thomas More Quotes
Like good wine, marriage gets better with age - once you learn to keep a cork in it.
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Gene Perret Quotes
A woman who loves her husband is merely paying her bills. A woman who loves her lover gives alms to the poor.
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Paul-Jean Toulet Quotes
The three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
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Author Unknown Quotes
Marriage is not a word - it is a sentence.
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Author Unknown Quotes
If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.
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Author Unknown Quotes
Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
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Woody Allen Quotes
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
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Mignon McLaughlin Quotes
The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
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Honore de Balzac Quotes
Is not marriage an open question, when it is alleged, from the beginning of the world, that such as are in the institution wish to get out, and such as are out wish to get in?
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Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes
Strange to say what delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our condition.
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Samuel Pepys Quotes
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
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Author Unknown Quotes
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
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Groucho Marx Quotes
There is no such cozy combination as man and wife.
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Menander Quotes
Wedlock is a padlock.
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John Ray Quotes
A man who desires to get married should know either everything or nothing.
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Oscar Wilde Quotes
In a time when nothing is more certain than change, the commitment of two people to one another has become difficult and rare. Yet, by its scarcity, the beauty and value of this exchange have only been enhanced.
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Robert Sexton Quotes
I know this is painful for the ladies to hear, but if you get married, you have accepted the headship of a man, your husband. Christ is the head of the household and the husband is the head of the wife, and that's the way it is, period.
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Pat Robertson Quotes
Love, the strongest and deepest element in all life, the harbinger of hope, of joy, of ecstasy; love, the defier of laws, of all conventions; love, the freest, the most powerful molder of human destiny; how can such an all-compelling force be synonymous with that poor little State- and church-begotten weed, marriage?
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Emma Goldman Quotes
An object in possession seldom retains the same charm that it had in pursuit.
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Pliny the Younger Quotes
I never even believed in divorce until after I got married.
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Diane Ford Quotes
What a happy and holy fashion it is that those who love one another should rest on the same pillow.
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Nathaniel Hawthorne Quotes
For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.
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Bill Cosby Quotes
In the long run wives are to be paid in a peculiar coin - consideration for their feelings. As it usually turns out this is an enormous, unthinkable inflation few men will remit, or if they will, only with a sense of being overcharged.
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Elizabeth Hardwick Quotes
When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
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Nora Ephron Quotes
It is not marriage that fails; it is people that fail. All that marriage does is to show people up.
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Harry Emerson Fosdick Quotes
A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.
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H.L. Mencken Quotes
Courtship to marriage is as a very witty prologue to a very dull play.
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William Congreve Quotes
Once a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast.
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Marlene Dietrich Quotes
Never marry for money. Ye'll borrow it cheaper.
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Scottish Proverb Quotes
I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.
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Marie Corelli Quotes
A fellow ought to save a few of the long evenings he spends with his girl till after they're married.
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Frank McKinney Hubbard Quotes
Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.
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H.L. Mencken Quotes
Marriage, n. A community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all two.
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
The concern that some women show at the absence of their husbands, does not arise from their not seeing them and being with them, but from their apprehension that their husbands are enjoying pleasures in which they do not participate, and which, from their being at a distance, they have not the power of interrupting.
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Michel de Montaigne Quotes
Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.
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Evelyn Hendrickson Quotes
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music played when soldiers go into battle.
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Heinrich Heine Quotes
Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness.
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Virginie des Rieux Quotes
When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.
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George Bernard Shaw Quotes
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
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Woody Allen Quotes
Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
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Dr. James C. Dobson Quotes
We have the greatest pre-nuptial agreement in the world. It's called love.
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Gene Perret Quotes
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
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H.V. Prochnow Quotes
Thus Dante's motto over Inferno applies with equal force to marriage: "Ye who enter here leave all hope behind."
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Emma Goldman Quotes
Love requires a willingness to die; marriage, a willingness to live.
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Mignon McLaughlin Quotes
Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage."
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Herbert Spencer Quotes
To avoid mistakes and regrets, always consult your wife before engaging in a flirtation.
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E.W. Howe Quotes
If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.
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Frank McKinney Hubbard Quotes
But married once, a man is stak'd or pown'd, and cannot graze beyond his own hedge.
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Philip Massinger Quotes
The reason for much matrimony is patrimony.
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Ogden Nash Quotes
Men should keep their eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.
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Madeleine de Scudery Quotes
Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose.
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Beverley Nichols Quotes
As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will, he will be sure to repent.
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Socrates Quotes
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him.
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Cher Quotes
Only choose in marriage a man whom you would choose as a friend if he were a woman.
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Joseph Joubert Quotes
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?
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Barbra Streisand Quotes
Married life teaches one invaluable lesson: to think of things far enough ahead not to say them.
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Jefferson Machamer Quotes
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
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Henny Youngman Quotes
Any married man should forget his mistakes... no use two people remembering the same thing.
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Duane Dewel Quotes
There is no substitute for the comfort supplied by the utterly taken-for granted relationship.
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Iris Murdoch Quotes
A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.
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Paul Sweeney Quotes
I've been reading a lot lately about Indian captives. One woman who had been captured by the Indians and made a squaw was resentful when she was rescued because she'd found that there was a lot more work to do as the wife of a white man.
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Stephen Vincent Benét Quotes
People do not marry people, not real ones anyway; they marry what they think the person is; they marry illusions and images. The exciting adventure of marriage is finding out who the partner really is.
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James L. Framo Quotes
Marriage is good for those who are afraid to sleep alone at night.
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St. Jerome Quotes
Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
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Josh Billings Quotes
The chief reason why marriage is rarely a success is that it is contracted while the partners are insane.
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Joseph Collins Quotes
I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.
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Lee Grant Quotes
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
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Helen Rowland Quotes
Never get married in the morning, because you never know who you'll meet that night.
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Paul Hornung Quotes
Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.
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Marilyn Monroe Quotes
Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you.
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Jean Rostand Quotes
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
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Unknown Author Quotes
The marriage state, with or without the affection suitable to it, is the completest image of Heaven and Hell we are capable of receiving in this life.
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Richard Steele Quotes
The view that a peptic ulcer may be the hole in a man's stomach through which he crawls to escape from his wife has fairly wide acceptance.
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John Allan Dalrymple Anderson Quotes
It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
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Robert Frost Quotes
Wasn't marriage, like life, unstimulating and unprofitable and somewhat empty when too well ordered and protected and guarded. Wasn't it finer, more splendid, more nourishing, when it was, like life itself, a mixture of the sordid and the magnificent; of mud and stars; of earth and flowers; of love and hate and laughter and tears and ugliness and beauty and hurt.
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Edna Ferber Quotes
Marriage isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Let me tell you, honestly. Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce.
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Larry Gelbart Quotes
A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
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Joey Adams Quotes
I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.
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Lyndon B. Johnson Quotes
Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.
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Simone Signoret Quotes
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
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Ogden Nash Quotes
A first-rate marriage is like a first-rate hotel: expensive, but worth it.
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Mignon McLaughlin Quotes
Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
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Irwin Corey Quotes
Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do, and I gave the common-sensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.
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Gloria Steinem Quotes
The reason they're called the opposite sex is because every time you think you have your wife fooled, it's just the opposite!
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Walter Winchell Quotes
Between a man and his wife nothing ought to rule but love.
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William Penn Quotes
A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.
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W. Somerset Maugham Quotes
Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses.
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English Proverb Quotes
Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.
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Jean Kerr Quotes
Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your wife turning the pages.
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Barry Goldwater Quotes
Women seem to be all right on bargains till it comes to picking out a husband.
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Frank McKinney Hubbard Quotes
There may be good, but there are no pleasant marriages.
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Rainer Maria Rilke Quotes
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
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Sacha Guitry Quotes
Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join.
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Elbert Hubbard Quotes
If your husband and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie?
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Author Unknown Quotes
It's easy to understand love at first sight, but how do we explain love after two people have been looking at each other for years?
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Author Unknown Quotes
Our marriage has always been a 50-50 proposition - with the possible exception of closet space.
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Gene Perret Quotes
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
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George Bernard Shaw Quotes
Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.
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Author Unknown Quotes
When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
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Prince Philip Quotes
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
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Woody Allen Quotes
Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.
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Barnett R. Brickner Quotes
Divorce: The past tense of marriage.
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Author Unknown Quotes
Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage.
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Sydney J. Harris Quotes
In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.
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Robert Anderson Quotes
A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.
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Ruth Bell Graham Quotes
Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day.
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Gene Perret Quotes
Wives are young men's mistresses; companions for middle age; and old men's nurses.
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Francis Bacon Quotes
A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.
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James H. Boren Quotes
The husband who doesn't tell his wife everything probably reasons that what she doesn't know won't hurt him.
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Leo J. Burke Quotes
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all.
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George Gordon Byron Quotes
Why get married? For human beings, marriage is such an unnatural state. If you want monogamy, it has been said, you should marry a swan.
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Quentin Crisp Quotes
I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage, and guarantee he'd be dead within the year.
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Bette Davis Quotes
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
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Phyllis Diller Quotes
So heavy is the chain of wedlock that it needs two to carry it, and sometimes three.
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Alexandre Dumas Quotes
A single man has not nearly the value he would have in a state of union. He is an incomplete animal. He resembles the odd half of a pair of scissors.
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Benjamin Franklin Quotes
Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended.
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Zsa Zsa Gabor Quotes
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.
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Lewis Grizzard Quotes
A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers.
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Grace Hansen Quotes
The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
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A.P. Herbert Quotes
All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.
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Raymond Hull Quotes
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
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Doug Larson Quotes
Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
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Stephen Leacock Quotes
The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast.
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Gabriel García Márquez Quotes
She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.
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Tommy Manville Quotes
My mother once told me that if a married couple puts a penny in a pot for every time they make love in the first year, and takes a penny out every time after that, they'll never get all the pennies out of the pot.
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Armistead Maupin Quotes
Pity all newlyweds. She cooks something nice for him, and he brings her flowers, and they kiss and think: How easy marriage is.
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Mignon McLaughlin Quotes
Some marriages break up, and some do not, and in our world you can usually explain the former better than the latter.
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Mignon McLaughlin Quotes
A woman ought to look up to her husband, if only a half-inch.
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Mignon McLaughlin Quotes
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.
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H.L. Mencken Quotes
Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.
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H.L. Mencken Quotes
No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.
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H.L. Mencken Quotes
Adultery is the application of democracy to love.
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H.L. Mencken Quotes
Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole.
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John Mortimer Quotes
Marriage is a meal where the soup is better than the dessert.
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Austin O'Malley Quotes
Marriage ceremony: an incredible metaphysical sham of watching God and the law being dragged into the affairs of your family.
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O.C. Ogilvie Quotes
Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
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Minnie Pearl Quotes
The highest happiness on earth is marriage.
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William Lyon Phelps Quotes
They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake.
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Alexander Pope Quotes
The most dangerous food is wedding cake.
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American Proverb Quotes
After a few years of marriage, a man can look right at a woman without seeing her - and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him.
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Helen Rowland Quotes
In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar, a custom which is still continued.
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Helen Rowland Quotes
The total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution.
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Bertrand Russell Quotes
My wife tells me she doesn't care what I do when I'm away, as long as I'm not enjoying it.
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Lee Trevino Quotes
Spouse: someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
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Author Unknown Quotes
Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.
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Author Unknown Quotes
God created sex. Priests created marriage.
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Voltaire Quotes
I don't believe in marriage unless one has some need for a tax break or social security. I would marry to simplify some red tape.
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Holly Near Quotes
A good marriage is that in which each appoints the other guardian of his solitude.
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Rainer Maria Rilke Quotes
More belongs to marriage than four legs in a bed.
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Rainer Maria Rilke Quotes
Marriage is the death of hope.
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Woody Allen Quotes