Quotes on golf
The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.
Unknown, Author
I'd play every day if I could. It's cheaper than a shrink and there are no telephones on my golf cart.
Musburger, Brent
The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green.
Hemingway, Ernest
I know I am getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer spectators.
Ford, Gerald
I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
Hope, Bob
Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around.
Reilly, Rick
Trevino is in a league by himself. We don't even count him. We figure when you come in second, you're a winner.
Rodriguez, Chi Chi
Who watches golf on TV? Who calls eight friends over and gets a keg of beer? Landscapers, I guess. They sit around the TV, yelling, "Will you look at that golf path? Pure pea gravel."
Cesario, Jeff
Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.
Trevino, Lee
I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
Chesterton, Gilbert Keith
Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.
Williams, Robin
I'm hitting the woods just great, but I'm having a terrible time getting out of them.
Toscano, Harry
When you hear someone shout "You da man," if he ain't shouting at Arnold Palmer, then it ain't da man.
Green, Ron
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.
O'Rourke, P.J.
One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball.
Carter, Don
Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing.
Hogan, Ben
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
Bishop, Jim
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
Twain, Mark
Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf, and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.
Benny, Jack
There is one thing in this world that is dumber than playing golf. That is watching someone else playing golf. What do you actually get to see? Thirty-seven guys in polyester slacks squinting at the sun. Doesn't that set your blood racing?
Andrews, Peter
It's so bad I could putt off a tabletop and still leave the ball halfway down the leg.
Snead, J.C.
One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good.
Archer, George
But you don't have to go up in the stands and play your foul balls. I do.
Snead, Sam
A golf course is nothing but a pool room moved outdoors.
Fitzgerald, Barry
It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
Aaron, Hank
If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.
Adams, Joey
One almost expects one of the players to peer into the monitor and politely request viewers to refrain from munching so loudly on cheese and crackers while the golfers are trying to reach the greens.
Alfano, Pete
Baseball players quit playing and they take up golf. Basketball players quit, take up golf. Football players quit, take up golf. What are we supposed to take up when we quit?
Archer, George
If you wish to hide your character, do not play golf.
Boomer, Percey
The average golfer doesn't play golf. He attacks it.
Burke, Jack
Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five.
Harvey, Paul
Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?
Hope, Bob
My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.
Trevino, Lee
Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called the PGA Tour.
Unknown, Author