Quotes on golf
The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.
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Author Unknown Quotes
I'd play every day if I could. It's cheaper than a shrink and there are no telephones on my golf cart.
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Brent Musburger Quotes
The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green.
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Ernest Hemingway Quotes
I know I am getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer spectators.
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Gerald Ford Quotes
I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
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Bob Hope Quotes
Through years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt.
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Jack Nicklaus Quotes
A game in which you claim the privileges of age, and retain the playthings of childhood.
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Author Unknown Quotes
Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around.
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Rick Reilly Quotes
Golf isn't like other sports where you can take a player out if he's having a bad day. You have to play the whole game.
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Phil Blackmar Quotes
Trevino is in a league by himself. We don't even count him. We figure when you come in second, you're a winner.
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Chi Chi Rodriguez Quotes
You are meant to play the ball as it lies, a fact that may help to touch on your own objective approach to life.
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Grantland Rice Quotes
Who watches golf on TV? Who calls eight friends over and gets a keg of beer? Landscapers, I guess. They sit around the TV, yelling, "Will you look at that golf path? Pure pea gravel."
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Jeff Cesario Quotes
They call it golf because all of the other four-letter words were taken.
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Raymond Floyd Quotes
Golf is not a game, it's bondage. It was obviously devised by a man torn with guilt, eager to atone for his sins.
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Jim Murray Quotes
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
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Jack Lemmon Quotes
When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit.
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Author Unknown Quotes
If your opponent is playing several shots in vain attempts to extricate himself from a bunker, do not stand near him and audibly count his strokes. It would be justifiable homicide if he wound up his pitiable exhibition by applying his niblick to your head.
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Harry Vardon Quotes
Golf without mistakes is like watching haircuts. A dinner without wine.
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Jim Murray Quotes
Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.
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Lee Trevino Quotes
I've spent most of my life golfing... the rest I've just wasted.
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Author Unknown Quotes
I never pray to God to make a putt. I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a putt.
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Chi Chi Rodriguez Quotes
Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture.
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Winston Churchill Quotes
Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course - the distance between your ears.
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Bobby Jones Quotes
I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
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Gilbert Keith Chesterton Quotes
Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.
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Robin Williams Quotes
It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place this world is when one is playing golf.
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Robert S. Lynd Quotes
What's nice about our tour is you can't remember your bad shots.
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Bob Bruce Quotes
No game designed to be played with the aid of personal servants by right-handed men who can't even bring along their dogs can be entirely good for the soul.
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Bruce McCall Quotes
Any game where a man 60 can beat a man 30 ain't no game.
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Burt Shotten Quotes
I'm hitting the woods just great, but I'm having a terrible time getting out of them.
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Harry Toscano Quotes
When you hear someone shout "You da man," if he ain't shouting at Arnold Palmer, then it ain't da man.
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Ron Green Quotes
Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.
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Jimmy DeMaret Quotes
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.
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P.J. O'Rourke Quotes
Golf is not, on the whole, a game for realists. By its exactitudes of measurements it invites the attention of perfectionists.
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Heywood Hale Broun Quotes
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
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Dean Martin Quotes
Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.
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Author Unknown Quotes
One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball.
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Don Carter Quotes
My body is here, but my mind has already teed off.
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Author Unknown Quotes
Golf gives you an insight into human nature, your own as well as your opponent's.
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Grantland Rice Quotes
Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing.
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Ben Hogan Quotes
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
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Jim Bishop Quotes
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
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Mark Twain Quotes
Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf, and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.
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Jack Benny Quotes
Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?
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Al Boliska Quotes
There is one thing in this world that is dumber than playing golf. That is watching someone else playing golf. What do you actually get to see? Thirty-seven guys in polyester slacks squinting at the sun. Doesn't that set your blood racing?
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Peter Andrews Quotes
Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result.
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Tommy Armour Quotes
It's so bad I could putt off a tabletop and still leave the ball halfway down the leg.
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J.C. Snead Quotes
One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good.
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George Archer Quotes
The number of shots taken by an opponent who is out of sight is equal to the square root of the sum of the number of curses heard plus the number of swishes.
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Michael Green Quotes
All I've got against it is that it takes you so far from the clubhouse.
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Eric Linklater Quotes
It's good sportsmanship not to pick up lost balls while they are still rolling.
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Mark Twain Quotes
Even God has to practice his putting.
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Golf Saying Quotes
That son of a bitch was able to hole a putt over 60 feet of peanut brittle.
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Lloyd Mangrum Quotes
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game: it's called an eraser.
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Arnold Palmer Quotes
In golf, you keep your head down and follow through. In the vice presidency, you keep your head up and follow through. It's a big difference.
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Dan Quayle Quotes
They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.
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Gardner Dickinson Quotes
Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom.
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Michael Green Quotes
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.
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Phyllis Diller Quotes
I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there.
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Bob Hope Quotes
One minute you're bleeding. The next minute you're hemorrhaging. The next minute you're painting the Mona Lisa.
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Mac O'Grady Quotes
May thy ball lie in green pastures... and not in still waters.
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Author Unknown Quotes
If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle.
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Author Unknown Quotes
But you don't have to go up in the stands and play your foul balls. I do.
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Sam Snead Quotes
Art said he wanted to get more distance. I told him to hit it and run backward.
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Ken Venturi Quotes
Born to golf. Forced to work.
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Author Unknown Quotes
A golf course is nothing but a pool room moved outdoors.
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Barry Fitzgerald Quotes
It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
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Hank Aaron Quotes
If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.
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Joey Adams Quotes
One almost expects one of the players to peer into the monitor and politely request viewers to refrain from munching so loudly on cheese and crackers while the golfers are trying to reach the greens.
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Pete Alfano Quotes
Baseball players quit playing and they take up golf. Basketball players quit, take up golf. Football players quit, take up golf. What are we supposed to take up when we quit?
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George Archer Quotes
His driving is unbelievable. I don't go that far on my holidays.
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Ian Baker-Finch Quotes
If you wish to hide your character, do not play golf.
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Percey Boomer Quotes
The average golfer doesn't play golf. He attacks it.
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Jack Burke Quotes
Golf is like a love affair. If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart.
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Arthur Daley Quotes
The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.
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George Deukmejian Quotes
Playing the game I have learned the meaning of humility. It has given me an understanding of futility of the human effort.
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Abba Eban Quotes
Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five.
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Paul Harvey Quotes
Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?
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Bob Hope Quotes
If you call on God to improve the results of a shot while it is still in motion, you are using "an outside agency" and subject to appropriate penalties under the rules of golf.
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Henry Longhurst Quotes
Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.
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A.A. Milne Quotes
If I can hit a curveball, why can't I hit a ball that is standing still on a course?
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Larry Nelson Quotes
Golf is a game in which the ball lies poorly and the players well.
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Art Rosenbaum Quotes
If you're caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.
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Lee Trevino Quotes
My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.
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Lee Trevino Quotes
Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called the PGA Tour.
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Author Unknown Quotes
Gone golfin'... be back dark thirty.
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Author Unknown Quotes
The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things.
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John Updike Quotes