Quotes on football
There are two kinds of people in the world, Notre Dame lovers and Notre Dame haters. And, quite frankly, they're both a pain in the ass.
Devine, Dan
Rugby football is a game I can't claim absolutely to understand in all its niceties, if you know what I mean. I can follow the broad, general principles, of course. I mean to say, I know that the main scheme is to work the ball down the field somehow and deposit it over the line at the other end and that, in order to squalch this programme, each side is allowed to put in a certain amount of assault and battery and do things to its fellowman which, if done elsewhere, would result in fourteen days without the option, coupled with some strong remarks from the Bench.
Wodehouse, P.G.
October is not only a beautiful month but marks the precious yet fleeting overlap of hockey, baseball, basketball, and football.
Love, Jason
Football is not a game but a religion, a metaphysical island of fundamental truth in a highly verbalized, disguised society, a throwback of 30,000 generations of anthropological time.
Mandell, Arnold
One of the great disappointments of a football game is that the cheerleaders never seem to get injured.
Unknown, Author
When I went to Catholic high school in Philadelphia, we just had one coach for football and basketball. He took all of us who turned out and had us run through a forest. The ones who ran into the trees were on the football team.
Raveling, George
American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party.
Lawley, Sue
Beer and Rugby are more or less synonymous.
Laidlaw, Chris
College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.
Hubbard, Elbert
There are several differences between a football game and a revolution. For one thing, a football game usually lasts longer and the participants wear uniforms. Also, there are usually more casualties in a football game. The object of the game is to move a ball past the other team's goal line. This counts as six points. No points are given for lacerations, contusions, or abrasions, but then no points are deducted, either. Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally.
Hitchcock, Alfred
Men are clinging to football on a level we aren't even aware of. For centuries, we ruled everything, and now, in the last ten minutes, there are all these incursions by women. It's our Alamo.
Kornheiser, Tony
Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.
Gifford, Frank
I am a member of a team, and I rely on the team, I defer to it and sacrifice for it, because the team, not the individual, is the ultimate champion.
Hamm, Mia
The reason women don't play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
Diller, Phyllis
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Bombeck, Erma
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
Bombeck, Erma
Speed, strength, and the inability to register pain immediately.
Williams, Reggie
Trying to maintain order during a legalized gang brawl involving 80 toughs with a little whistle, a hanky and a ton of prayer.
Anonymous