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Telling a teenager the facts of life is like giving a fish a bath.
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Arnold Glasow Quotes

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Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth and fresher breath.
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Dave Barry Quotes

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Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying.(Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a horn and make loud "snort" noises.) I don't know why parents don't do this more often. Usually it makes the kid laugh. Sometimes it sends him into shock. Either way it quiets him down. If you're a parent, acting like a rhino has another advantage. Keep it up until the kid is a teenager and he definitely won't have his friends hanging around your house all the time.
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P.J. O'Rourke Quotes

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Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.
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Laurence J. Peter Quotes

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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
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Fran Lebowitz Quotes

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Teenagers complain there's nothing to do, then stay out all night doing it.
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Bob Phillips Quotes

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A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars worth of your food.
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Henny Youngman Quotes

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The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don't have to pay taxes - naturally, no one wants to live any other way.
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Judith Martin Quotes

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I am beautiful as I am. I am the shape that was gifted. My breasts are no longer perky and upright like when I was a teenager. My hips are wider than that of a fashion model's. For this I am glad, for these are the signs of a life lived.
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Cindy Olsen Quotes

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 feminism  

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There is nothing wrong with today's teenager that twenty years won't cure.
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Author Unknown Quotes

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 generations  teenagers  

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The average teenager still has all the faults his parents outgrew.
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Author Unknown Quotes

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The teenager seems to have replaced the Communist as the appropriate target for public controversy and foreboding.
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Edgar Friedenberg Quotes

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Janie's a pretty typical teenager - angry, insecure, confused. I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her.
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Alan Ball Quotes

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 curmudgeon  

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It's difficult to decide whether growing pains are something teenagers have - or are.
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Author Unknown Quotes

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