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Many people do not realize that the snowshoe can be used for a great many things besides walking on snow. For instance, it can be used to carry pancakes from the stove to the breakfast table. Also, it can be used to carry uneaten pancakes from the table to the garbage. Finally, it can be used as a kind of strainer, where you force pancakes through the strings to see if a piece of gold got in a pancake somehow.
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Jack Handey Quotes

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 snow  

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I tried to commit suicide by sticking my head in the oven, but there was a cake in it.
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Unknown Author Quotes

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 suicide  

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Dieting is not a piece of cake.
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Author Unknown Quotes

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 diet  

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Nothing seems to please a fly so much as to be taken for a currant; and if it can be baked in a cake and palmed off on the unwary, it dies happy.
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Mark Twain Quotes

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 insects  

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There was a boyishness about Mr. Clemens sometimes that found different modes of expression. Once, when the long corridor of the second floor of the hotel presented a temptingly empty avenue, he hopped, skipped, and ran, and then gave a delicious suggestion of a cake-walk. As soon as a door opened, however, he stopped and assumed a supernaturally grave aspect.
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Elizabeth Wallace Quotes

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 skipping  

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Hockey belongs to the Cartoon Network, where a person can be pancaked by an ACME anvil, then expanded - accordion-style - back to full stature, without any lasting side effect.
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Steve Rushin Quotes

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 hockey  

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Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.
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Jim Davis Quotes

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 food  

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How can a society that exists on instant mashed potatoes, packaged cake mixes, frozen dinners, and instant cameras teach patience to its young?
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Paul Sweeney Quotes

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 laziness  patience  prosperity  society  

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The most dangerous food is wedding cake.
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American Proverb Quotes

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 marriage  

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Better bread with water than cake with trouble.
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Russian Proverb Quotes

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 adversity  

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Dig a trench through a landfill and you will see layers of phone books like geographical strata or layers of cake. During a recent landfill dig in Phoenix, I found newspapers dating from 1952 that looked so fresh you might read one over breakfast.
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William Rathje Quotes

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 environment  

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America is an enormous frosted cupcake in the middle of millions of starving people.
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Gloria Steinem Quotes

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 america  

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Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips.
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Attributed to John Wagner Quotes

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 age  weight  

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