Quotes by Steven Wright

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Displaying 11 to 18 out of 18 Quotes

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
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Steven Wright Quotes

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 walking  

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If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?
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Steven Wright Quotes

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 swimming  

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Called a blind date to set up a meeting at a restaurant. I said, "I'll be the one in the leather jacket." She said, "I'll be the one drinking sake." Turned out it was one of those biker-sushi places. We never met.
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 alcohol  

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I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
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 driving  

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A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, "Wish you were here."
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 space  

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If God dropped acid, would he see people?
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 drugs  

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I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
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Steven Wright Quotes

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 society  

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I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
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Steven Wright Quotes

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 sports  

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