Quotes by Lemony Snicket

wooden pedestal
Displaying 1 to 10 out of 17 Quotes

Perhaps if we saw what was ahead of us, and glimpsed the crimes, follies, and misfortunes that would befall us later on, we would all stay in our mother's wombs, and then there would be nobody in the world but a great number of very fat, very irritated women.
Link to Quote
Lemony Snicket Quotes

section label

 curmudgeon  

Add your own tags  

The quoting of an aphorism, like the angry barking of a dog or the smell of overcooked broccoli, rarely indicates that something helpful is about to happen.
Link to Quote
Lemony Snicket Quotes

section label

 quotations  

Add your own tags  

Waiting is one of life's hardships.
Link to Quote
Lemony Snicket Quotes

section label

 haste  

Add your own tags  

Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree, because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch, or you might simply get covered in sap, and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors, where it is harder to get a splinter.
Link to Quote
Lemony Snicket Quotes

section label

 trust  

Add your own tags  

In general, of course, a stranger who tries to get you into an automobile is anything but noble, and in general a person who quotes great American novelists is anything but treacherous, and in general a man who says you needn't worry about money, or a man who smokes cigarettes, is somewhere in between.
Link to Quote
Lemony Snicket Quotes

section label

 people  

Add your own tags  

It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting.
Link to Quote
Lemony Snicket Quotes

section label

 night  

Add your own tags  

If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.
Link to Quote
Lemony Snicket Quotes

section label

 speaking  carelessness  

Add your own tags  

One wanders through life as if wandering through a field in the dark of night, wearing a blindfold and very heavy shoes, with a poisonous toad waiting patiently beneath a clump of weeds, knowing full well that eventually you will step on him.
Link to Quote
Lemony Snicket Quotes

section label

 life  

Add your own tags  

If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say, in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well, this isn't too bad. I don't have my left arm anymore, but at least nobody will ever ask me whether I am right-handed or left-handed," but most of us would say something more along the lines of "Aaaaah! My arm! My arm!"
Link to Quote
Lemony Snicket Quotes

section label

 optimism  

Add your own tags  

If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.
Link to Quote
Lemony Snicket Quotes

section label

 cats  

Add your own tags