Quotes by P.J. O'Rourke

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Displaying 1 to 10 out of 22 Quotes

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government do it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.
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 americans  

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You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money.
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 poverty  

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Skiing consists of wearing 3,000 worth of clothes and equipment and driving 200 miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and drink.
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 snow  

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Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
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 ignorance  

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A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do.
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 food  wine  

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Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
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 government  

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After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.
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 humorous  parties  

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Journalists aren't supposed to praise things. It's a violation of work rules almost as serious as buying drinks with our own money or absolving the CIA of something.
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 media  

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Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us.
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 government  democracy  

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Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system.
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 drugs  

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