Quotes by Fran Lebowitz
As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
Lebowitz, Fran
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
Lebowitz, Fran
When it comes to sports I am not particularly interested. Generally speaking, I look upon them as dangerous and tiring activities performed by people with whom I share nothing except the right to trial by jury.
Lebowitz, Fran
Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.
Lebowitz, Fran
Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don't are ladies. This is, however, a rather archaic usage of the word. Should one of you boys happen upon a girl who doesn't put out, do not jump to the conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably found is a Lesbian.
Lebowitz, Fran
Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
Lebowitz, Fran
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
Lebowitz, Fran