Quotes by Fran Lebowitz
All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
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Fran Lebowitz Quotes
As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
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Fran Lebowitz Quotes
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
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Fran Lebowitz Quotes
When it comes to sports I am not particularly interested. Generally speaking, I look upon them as dangerous and tiring activities performed by people with whom I share nothing except the right to trial by jury.
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Fran Lebowitz Quotes
Large, naked raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who lie in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter.
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Fran Lebowitz Quotes
If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded as American culture, you would pretty much be left with "Let's Make a Deal."
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Fran Lebowitz Quotes
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness and death.
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Fran Lebowitz Quotes
Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.
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Fran Lebowitz Quotes
Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don't are ladies. This is, however, a rather archaic usage of the word. Should one of you boys happen upon a girl who doesn't put out, do not jump to the conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably found is a Lesbian.
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Fran Lebowitz Quotes
Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
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Fran Lebowitz Quotes
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
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Fran Lebowitz Quotes
Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
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Fran Lebowitz Quotes
Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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Fran Lebowitz Quotes