Quotes by W.C. Fields

wooden pedestal
Displaying 1 to 10 out of 11 Quotes

After two days in the hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
Link to Quote
W.C. Fields Quotes

section label

 nurses  

Add your own tags  

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
Link to Quote
W.C. Fields Quotes

section label

 politics  

Add your own tags  

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
Link to Quote
W.C. Fields Quotes

section label

 money  poverty  

Add your own tags  

Prayers never bring anything ... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
Link to Quote
W.C. Fields Quotes

section label

 christmas  

Add your own tags  

Horse sense is a good judgment which keeps horses from betting on people.
Link to Quote
W.C. Fields Quotes

section label

 gambling  

Add your own tags  

I hate water. Fish fuck in it.
Link to Quote
W.C. Fields Quotes

section label

 water  vulgar  

Add your own tags  

Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
Link to Quote
W.C. Fields Quotes

section label

 christmas  

Add your own tags  

Start every day with a smile and get it over with.
Link to Quote
W.C. Fields Quotes

section label

 smiles  

Add your own tags  

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
Link to Quote
W.C. Fields Quotes

section label

 horses  

Add your own tags  

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
Link to Quote
W.C. Fields Quotes

section label

 alcohol  

Add your own tags