Quotes by Phyllis Diller

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
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Phyllis Diller Quotes

By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant.
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Phyllis Diller Quotes

I don't know how you feel about old age, but in my case I didn't even see it coming. It hit me from the rear.
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Phyllis Diller Quotes

My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
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Phyllis Diller Quotes

The reason women don't play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
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Phyllis Diller Quotes

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.
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Phyllis Diller Quotes

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
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Phyllis Diller Quotes