Quotes by George Carlin

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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight They never mention that part to us, do they
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George Carlin Quotes

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 crime  

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The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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George Carlin Quotes

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 butterfly  

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Fuck all the people who say, "God bless," and then don't bother to complete the sentence. Who they are, I haven't the slightest. But, if I were God, I would not honor such a request.
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George Carlin Quotes

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 god  vulgar  

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If black boxes survive air crashes, why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
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George Carlin Quotes

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 flying  

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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
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 night  

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I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
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George Carlin Quotes

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 religion  

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Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
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 camping  

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I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
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 change  

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I use the word "fat." I use that word because that's what people are: they're fat. They're not bulky; they're not large, chunky, hefty or plump. And they're not big-boned. Dinosaurs were big-boned. These people are not overweight: this term somehow implies there is some correct weight. There is no correct weight. Heavy is also a misleading term. An aircraft carrier is heavy; it's not fat. Only people are fat, and that's what fat people are! They're fat!
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George Carlin Quotes

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