Quotes by Erma Bombeck

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What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
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Erma Bombeck Quotes

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 men  

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The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.
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Erma Bombeck Quotes

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 family  laughing  

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When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.
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Erma Bombeck Quotes

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 parents  

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Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.
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 parents  summer  

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I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food.
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 diet  

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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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Erma Bombeck Quotes

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 football  

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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
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Erma Bombeck Quotes

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 football  thanksgiving  

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