Quotes by Woody Allen

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Displaying 1 to 10 out of 119 Quotes

The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind - a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.
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Woody Allen Quotes

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 humorous  

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Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
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Woody Allen Quotes

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 sex  love  

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Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
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 love  marriage  

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When we lose twenty pounds, we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty.
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 diet  humanity  

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If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
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 risk  failure  

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Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love.
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 sex  

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I interestingly dated a woman in the Eisenhover administration, briefly, and it was ironic to me because I was trying to do to her what Eisenhover has been doing to the country for the last few years.
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 politics  

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Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
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 god  

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Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.
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 comedy  drama  

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Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
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Woody Allen Quotes

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 sex  

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