Quotes by Woody Allen
The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind - a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.
Link to Quote
Woody Allen Quotes
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
Link to Quote
Woody Allen Quotes
Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
Link to Quote
Woody Allen Quotes
When we lose twenty pounds, we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty.
Link to Quote
Woody Allen Quotes
If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
Link to Quote
Woody Allen Quotes
Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love.
Link to Quote
Woody Allen Quotes
I interestingly dated a woman in the Eisenhover administration, briefly, and it was ironic to me because I was trying to do to her what Eisenhover has been doing to the country for the last few years.
Link to Quote
Woody Allen Quotes
Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
Link to Quote
Woody Allen Quotes
Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.
Link to Quote
Woody Allen Quotes
Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
Link to Quote
Woody Allen Quotes