Quotes by Scott Adams

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Your Business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting.
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 clothing  jobs  

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If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
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 computer  

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I believe everybody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string.
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 violence  

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Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
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 art  

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I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.
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 internet  waiting  

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And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing.
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 internet  

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